How I really feel about things...

Ya know, it's really hard for me to adjust to new ideas and new situations. I am a person who doesn't like change. I learn to accept it, but in general I don't like it. So when my world started crashing down around me I too came crashing down... But now I feel like I am back on top. Don't ask what changed to make it this way, because I have no idea, and frankly don't care! lol..
It is so amazing to me how it all just came back together. For so long I have felt lost, and irresponsible for letting it get that way. And now, I feel like I can do anything. I no longer live life by anyone elses standards, but my own. Which is great. I have no one else to please but my son and God. Today in English we had a pretty heated discussion about why some people go to church is for socialization purposes only. I feel terrible saying that I don't go to church, but I do feel like I have a relationship with him. I mean he blessed me with Peyton, so he must like me.. right??
I dunno what I am trying to say in this blog, but rambling just seems right to me. lol... Well this weekend was amazing. Not only did I spend time with majority of my friends, but my family as well. I got to see Logan, which is always fun! That child cracks me up! He is getting so big so fast its scary!. I am getting closer to my already close friends, and even the ones that I have grown apart from.
Friends aside, there is James. I know a lot of my friends and family dislike him, but the way I see it is like this:
He makes me happy. He makes me feel good about myself, and he loves me. I love him. This is all that matters to me. He is the father of my son, and I am thankful that he is Peyton's dad. He is very open-minded and caring. No one can see this because they can't get past all the stupid decisions he has made in the past. Honestly I have I hard time getting over the decisions he has mades as well, but with him the good weighs out the bad.. I know that this probably pisses people off, but the way I see it is you have no right to be pissed off at who I love. For those who truly care about me and my feelings should only want me to be happy right?? Thats the way I think it should be anyways.
Ok well my rambling session is over and so is Peytons nap! So I'll get back at ya later!!