For starters I am now a SINGLE mother. I dumped the biggest waste of my time about 2 months ago and have never felt more refreshed. Don't get me wrong its hard to go from not being alone for 5 1/2 years to being alone, but at the same time shit I'm alone!! I love it. I graduated from nursing school with my LPN and currently waiting to take my state boards. I am getting ready to start my Bachelors Program through ISU and I am seriously thrilled about it! Yeah I am one of those nerds that actually likes school. Hell I'll probably be in school the rest of my life. Professional student right here!! :)
I have been talking to this guy not so seriously for a couple days and whoa. I have known him for quite some time and never even thought about it. But now that I have its a wonderful thought. But honestly I'm not looking for anything remotely serious and just want to see how things end up. Its crazy how so much can change in one year. I am seriously in love with my life and feel so blessed to of had to courage to do what I have done to get to this point.
Now on to better things: PEYTON!! The one true love of my life!! He is absolutely perfect. He will be four soon and I cannot believe it! And he starts preschool in 2 WEEKS!!! Talk about crazy! My baby is growing with warp like speed!! :) oh but its not going to slow down anytime soon!!
I have decided that for my life I am going to always live young. When I am 30 I'll still feel 20, when I'm 40 I want to still feel 30, and so on. I just don't ever want to get to the point where I am where my parents are. It's sad that today Peyton wanted to call my dad (which isn't out of the ordinary), and on the other end of the phone all of my child's grandparents were drunk at 4:00pm on a Wednesday at the VFW. How sad is it that my son is going to grow up with his memories of his grandparents being drunk. Don't get me wrong that's what my memories of my dad are, but I vowed that my child's memories would be different. And that's crumbling. I wish there was some way of getting through to them and saying you know why do you feel its appropriate to be wasted when you see my son or even talk to him on the phone. It would be different if this was the first time, but that's the farthest thing from the truth. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to "have a talk" with my parents about being sober around Peyton. Ridiculous if you ask me, but how do I stop it. How do I crush my son's heart when I can't let him be around his grandparents anymore??? I wish there was an easy answer. I wish there was a way to fix this. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't most people call all the shots with their children, and if those aren't respected and obeyed then its the others loss, right?? Well I'm tired of the same old song and dance. I'm tired of them "just having a few drinks" right before they know they are going to have him. Is it seriously that hard to not drink on the days you have him? Especially when you didn't drink the night before? Or is it that you need the drink to be able to keep him? If that's the case no one is asking you to do it. I may ask but tell me that he's too much that you need a "few" before hand and i'll make other arrangements!!
Sorry for the rant session. I just really wanted that off of my chest! I feel loads better now, and I plan on writing again soon!!
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